What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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