She announced her abortion via fbk
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
