He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
