yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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