my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
