need another drink. this is the easiest way
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
