This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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