The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
