this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
