No subtext here. People are naked.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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