Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
