Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
