I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
