I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just want to make out with him forever
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
