ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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