I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
