There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
