Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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