I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
