Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
