My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
