why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
