The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
