I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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