just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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