my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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