TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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