Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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