Who did Billy Mays play for?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
