My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
