i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
barbara walters just said penis...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
These tits shall not be calmed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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