Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
