Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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