How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
