I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
