She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
