Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
