he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
