went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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