So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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