apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
