Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
