I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
