No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
