Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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