I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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