what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
