Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
