sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
