Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
